We finally were approved for a PFV


Anything worth doing is probably not easy, but the rewards are worth it.

I know it’s been a LONG while since I have last updated my blog. I have been very busy with work, kids and my Love. I am so happy to share that we have been approved for Private Family Visits (PFV). We just had our first weekend together last weekend during the Easter Holidays. It was soooo AMAZING to just be with him for an entire weekend.

Trust me it was a long and stressful process for us to get approved. At first we were denied but we kept fighting and fighting for it and finally after a few months we were approved. His release date is still unknown at this time, too much bullshit but on the brighter side we have our PFV now so it helps make time go faster.

When I first heard the news that we were approved for a PFV and found out the date, the first thing I did was go shopping for some hot outfits that I would never be allowed to wear during visits! I hit up La Senza and Victoria Secret and got some HOT outfits for my man.

I seriously was soooo excited the week before we had our PFV. We both had butterflies in our tummies. We were just both so happy to know that we will get to spend some quality alone time together and just do the things we take for granted like cook together, watch a movie and just cuddling.

I packed my bag a few days before I had to go up. I had to look for shampoo, conditioner, body wash and lotion in CLEAR bottles. If I wanted to bring something that I couldn’t buy in a clear bottle, I just bought a bunch of clear travel containers and transferred all the contents in there. Thank goodness for Dollarama, I found so many travel containers there for cheap. I wasn’t allowed to bring a blow dryer, curling iron or flat iron. Ughh… trust me I was really upset about that.

I put all my lingerie, bras and underware in big ziplock bags so it will be easier for them to search me and not really mess up my bag. I only brought 4 outfits with me, a robe, towel, slippers and an extra pair of shoes. I basically put all my clothes in one bag and put all my hygiene stuff in another bag.

On Friday morning I woke up at 5am got myself ready and left my place by 6am. I was kinda speeding on the way up there… I just wanted to be with my man. I ended up getting to Millhaven in about 2 hours. That’s pretty good timing, I checked in around 8:30 am but I had to wait till after 9am before they came to search my stuff. The lady came and she gave me another bag to transfer my stuff into. I had no issues with any of my stuff, and then I had to get my stuff searched by the dog. I had my allergy medicine with me and that had to be locked away in V&C and if I needed it, I would have to call them.

After I was searched we walked over to the trailers. They are just small cottage type houses. I was given the big tour, the CO showed me where everything was. She told me that they will call us when it’s time for count and if we needed anything we can just pick up the phone and it will call them directly. There was a big red panic button on the wall. She warned me that this is for emergency use only. If we happen to hit the button just be aware there will be over 30 CO’s running over here. Just like a huge SWAT team. Yeah I don’t want to see that.

She told me it would be about 30 mins before my man would get there, and that she will be back with him to count all the knives and stuff in the kitchen. Just so nothing goes back to the prison range. When she left I went straight to the cleaning supplies. I started wiping stuff down and I vacuumed the furniture because I have allergies. I threw a all the linens in the washer.

When my man finally came I gave him the biggest hug and kiss! The CO went over the stuff with him and told us that the food we ordered will be there around 1pm. When they finally left we were all over each other. It felt like freedom for a weekend.

I just felt like I was in a ghetto motel, but I was happy to be with my man. We honestly had such an amazing time together. He cooked for me and treated me like his princess. We got to watch movies together, cuddle and fall asleep together. I won’t get into all the details but I’m sure you all know what we did most of the time.

The weather was pretty nice so we did spend some time outside in our barbwire fenced backyard. It had a picnic table and BBQ out there which was really nice. We played some scrabble and fed the little birds some bread. It was nice since we never got to spend any time outside during regular visits. I don’t plan on going to regular visits again. I’ll wait the 8 weeks and see him for a PFV instead. That’s what he wants me to do as well.

I enjoyed every moment we had together, I love him so much and I really want him to come home soon. The night before I had to leave, we got all our stuff packed up just so we didn’t have to rush in the morning and he set the alarm for 5am just so we can spend some time together in the morning. My man was feeling a bit sad knowing I had to leave and that he had to go back to the range again. He says he actually felt like he was FREE for a weekend.

Around 9 am in the middle of us making love….. there was a loud knock on the door. Seriously, you guys couldn’t call first. My man answered the door and said we needed a few mins to get our stuff together. We basically got dressed and put all the stuff away, they gave us a good 15 mins and then they called and asked if we were ready. (haha we got caught) I gave my man a big hug and kiss and I was escorted out. He had to wait in the trailer to get searched before he went back up to the range.

That was such a wonderful weekend and we are counting the days till our next PFV. I love my man with all my heart and I seriously can’t wait until we get married and spend our life together.

Love Always,


Leave me some questions and comments, I love hearing from all you! Thank you!

All of me…

What would I do without your smart mouth
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out
Got my head spinning, no kidding, I can’t pin you down
What’s going on in that beautiful mind
I’m on your magical mystery ride
And I’m so dizzy, don’t know what hit me, but I’ll be alright

My head’s under water
But I’m breathing fine
You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind

‘Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I’ll give my all to you
You’re my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I’m winning
‘Cause I give you all, all of me
And you give me all, all of you, oh….



I miss my man so much, I love him with all my heart


It’s not easy but he’s worth it


I swear ever since my man was moved to Millhaven institution, the stress level for both of us has went up by 100%, some days I can’t even stand hearing his voice. I swear he gives me anxiety sometimes. I honestly think it has to do with the prison and the system they have there. Even though Kingston Penitentiary was known as the most notorious prison in Canada where the most high profile criminals lived it wasn’t as bad as it is at Millhaven.

Something about that place just brew up bad tension, I did some research online and came across an article that says it was built on some Sacred Native Burial Site. So NO WONDER!!! But besides that, it is totally different from what my man is used to. It really feels like an Institution for someone mental. I hate going to their little sad excuse of a visiting room. There is no windows in there, OK I’m lying. There is one small window in the corner of the room. The wall has carpet on it because whoever designed it, didn’t think about the acoustic in the room that they had to try to filter the sound with carpet on the wall. Ughh that’s pathetic. And to top it off you basically get assign seating. I can understand that if you were just coming off closed visits. It’s just a whole new world there. Don’t get me wrong, the CO that work there are very nice and polite to me. But I honestly miss the huge wall to wall window in the KP visiting room where I can look out into the yard and see a freakin bird and sit where every I wanted.

Back in KP when the guys had Range time their cells were open the entire time for them to go in and out of it. They had more space to roam around, they had tables and chairs to sit at and chill. Oh no, at Millhaven during Range time, they have 5 mins to get out of their cells and then it gets locked up. The have no furniture on the range, its basically a hallway with a kitchen area and shower area.When the CO go for their walks all the guys have to return to their cells for a few mins. Trust me I know, I have been left on hold on the phone because of the walks.

I miss my man and I love him with all my heart, this life is not easy at all. Anyone in a similar situation as me knows that for a fact. I think it`s even more work than being with someone free.  Both parties have to put in more work to keep the love alive, at any point I could leave and just have a normal life, but I decided to stay with him. Right now we are in the process of trying to get out PFV (Pirvate Family Visits) but his COII is making it very hard on us which is also causing more stress on our relationship. We are well aware that I should be approved without an issue. Anyways let the games begin……

I just hope that he will be free on his next release date, or I honestly don`t know what I am gonna do. The last time they denied him I just wanted to cry. It really broke my heart when I heard the news. I made it this far with him, and I`m not planning on giving up on him. I know he loves me and I understand his situation. Being locked up in your cell for the majority of your day must not be fun and having basically no control in your life in there must be hard. I will never take for granted the freedom I have out here.

I miss my babe!


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Tours At Kingston Penitentiary


I had my last visit at Kingston Pentitentiary on September 7,2013. I wanted to see my hubby before he moved to the other Maxium security prison. Not many people can say, yes I’ve been there when it was populated with inmates. I actually had a chance to go inside the prison gym for the Spring Social. My man’s range moved out of the notorious KP just last week, and now they are going to start tours at Kingston Pen. Which is very interesting…. I just wonder how the tour will go? Will they have to wait at the front door and hear the door buzz to let them in. I think it would be interesting for the public to actually see what we have to go through just for a visit.
This is where they sign in, and this is the ION scan, and then you have to wait in here and stand on the footprints to let the dogs search you. And once you pass you can proceed through the door, check in with the other CO, show your ID and then buzz to get into the visiting room and then wait for the inmates to walk out the door. Ohhhhh memories. Maybe I should go on the tour just for fun. I would like to go onto my mans old range and see other parts of the prison I never had access to. And this time, hopefully I will be able to take pictures! If any of you that read my blog go on the tour send me and email or message me on twitter to let me know how it is. I’m really interested on how the tour will go and what they will show you. Ohhh and if you do decide to go, just be aware it haunted! Phaha ha! I’ll post up a story closer to Halloween.

For KP tour tickets check out this link:

Welcome to Millhaven


This week my Hubby moved out of Kingston Penitentiary and is at Millhaven now. Monday after lunch they moved the guys from his range and now they are just getting used to the new routine. My man got voted to be the Range rep so he gets to be out a little bit longer, which is good. They don’t really get to come out of their cells as much as they did before.
I just miss our phone times, now I’m lucky if I get 2 calls a day. I guess we will be back to writing letters again. I kinda miss his sweet letters anyways. I just hope he adjust well in there. I miss my Love very much, can’t wait to see him and kiss him!


Bling bling Rings!



So I have been busy wedding planning the past few months. Yes we are getting married! I’ll officially be a Mrs. Before the end of the year. I’m so excited, we are in the process of getting the marriage license and once he moves prisons we can figure out the date we can get married.
I’ve been ring shopping and I think I found the ones I like. I just need to send my love a picture so he can decide as well. I’m so in love with my man and I seriously can’t wait for him to be free.


Expect the unexpected!



Sometimes thing don’t always go as planned. A few months ago we were counting the days for my boyfriend to be released but a few weeks before his release date, he gets thrown in the hole and they decided not to let him go. This is the life of being in a relationship with someone in prison, you got to expect the unexpected and just roll with the punches. Hmmm.. did that even make any sense?

So now my countdown app on my iPhone is counting the days from when he was suppose to be released 67 days and counting to be exact. We have a lawyer to try to help him win his appeal but for now, I’m back to having to book a visit to see him and the long road trips there.

I guess I have a lot of updating to do, people are messaging me on prison talk wondering what’s going on, and where I’ve been. I guess I just needed some time to fully understand the bullshit that’s going on. It has been tough on both of us and there was a point when he was so stressed out he would just take it out on me. Trust me there were days where I just wanted to leave this entire situation but I love him and he really needs all the support he can get right now.

It really does suck that he’s not free and it really hurt us. I went shopping and bought him a bunch of new clothes but now I will be sending it to him in prison. We wanted to spend our anniversary and his birthday together, but that never happened. I’m back to writing letters and sending cards. I don’t think I will do another countdown even if he gets another date.

My man’s prison is shutting down so they are in the process of transferring everyone. He’s trying to get into a medium security prison again but for now he’s still considered maximum. So hello Millhaven!!! I hope you are good to us and don’t give us any problems. He already got the canteen list for that prison and likes their selection, yes he actually read me the entire list…while I was pretending to listen and just say a random “ohhh really babe”, “nice” and “wow”. The excitement for the day!

So here we go again, back to the same old things. I just hope that they just set him free soon. Wish us luck!